Taking the Plunge
by Jiade-103
Summary: And his second biggest fear is that if he heard her voice again… Saw her again… His heart would take the plunge and he’d be lost in a sea of her. “It’s not fair.” He whispered. “I’m in pain from not seeing you but if I do see you I’ll fall into eve


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**Disclaimer: I don't own Zoey 101. **

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He stared out into the frigid air.

He watched his breath appear like smoke in front of him with a certain disconnection.

"The best thing about tonight is that we're not fighting."

His words floated into the air, he hoped they would reach their destination.

"How can we? You're half way across the world speaking a foreign language and giving them a full dose of Ms. Attitude."

He smiled faintly.

"What I would give for you to be here."

He ran his hand through his curly brown hair.

It saddened him.

She broke his heart.

And there was nothing he could do about it.

She didn't even know.

And now she didn't want anything to do with him.

No phone calls, no e-mails not even a scrap of a letter.

He wanted to…

But he couldn't…

He couldn't hold her. Or kiss her. Or tell her how much he loved her…

Because she was out of reach…

He desperately wanted to hear her voice again.

He was afraid.

Afraid it would fade from his mind and he would forget.

Forget the sound of her voice, the smell of her skin, the deep flex in her eyes that no body noticed until she looked into the sunlight…

He let the tear run it's course down his cheek and pierce through his heart like a silver bullet…

He should have told her…

The day she left…

He tried…

His voice wouldn't work…

It wasn't his fault…

She looked so good…

What was he supposed to do?....

He hadn't told anyone. He couldn't! How couldn't he? Tell _them_! _Them_ who think he's heartless. That he's in love with _her_.

How could he even think to tell them…

That every time he saw her…

He fell in love all over again…

Two years ago she left…

And his second biggest fear is that if he heard her voice again…

Saw her again…

His heart would take the plunge and he'd be lost in a sea of her.

"It's not fair." He whispered. "I'm in pain from not seeing you but if I do see you I'll fall into even more pain when you leave me again."

He leaned against the wall and slid down.

There he sat…

All alone...

Basking in his own self-inflicted pain…

Her face was implanted into his mind, he saw her every time he closed his eyes…

It killed him to know that home was so far away…

Because home…

Was wherever she was…

He knew he would always love her…

No one could take her place…

"I mid as well rip my heart out and put it on a silver platter." He said bitterly. "it only beats for you anyways and with you so far away it's really just a hindrance."

He thought of suicide…

Of how the longing would go away if only he…

But no…

He couldn't do that…

What if she came back…

He would have missed her…

He couldn't let himself miss her…

His number one fear would have come true…

She would come back…

And he wouldn't be there…

Wouldn't see her again…

Wouldn't be able to touch her soft skin again…

He can't die until he see's her again…

Until he tells her….

That his heart only beats for her…

He looked out into the darkness without actually seeing.

He thought about her..

Her curves…

Her eyes…

Her mouth…

Her legs…

He wouldn't let himself forget her...

He thought about the darkness…

And how he liked it…

He thought about her smile…

How no matter how angry she was at him…

That smile always tugged at her lips…

It was better this way…

To submerge himself in memories of her…

It was better this way…

To never forget…

The closest thing…

Closest thing…

His eyes caught the moonlight…

Her eyes flashed in it…

A tear escaped…

Shining in the depressing lighting…

If only…

His heart stopped beating…

"No…" His voice barely audible.

He clenched his aching heart…

No…

Not like this…

It's not the right moment…

His heart gave a jerk…

He sucked in a harsh breath…

This wasn't supposed to happen…

Not now…

The timing was so wrong…

She was so far away…

Yet so close…

His vision dimmed…

He was suffocating…

Drowning in her…

Her lips…

Her body….

Her eyes…

Flashing through his fading vision…

Her voice…

"Hello Logan."

And his heart plunged again.

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**How'd you like it? I wasn't sure where I was going with this. But I think it turned out alright in the end. =) **

**Anyways. It's late as hell out here. I mean really. 1 am is a little early to be writing. But hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. **

**Thank you to all my readers and all my reviewers over the years. **

**As a policy of mine. Only review if you want to. I think the best reviews come from those who really want to review and not those who feel forced to. True, everyone loves reviews. But I love to write even more. So… Review only if you're feeling it in your heart and soul. **

**Lovely. Now that that's over with I'm going to run off to bed and sink into beautiful nothingness and dream of elegant nights and passionate lovers dancing under the moon's spotlight as they undergo the journey of finding themselves and becoming one with each other and with the silence's symphony. **

**Night.**

**Jiade-103**

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**Phew. I had a litle bit of trouble with this baby. I was accused of plagarizing someone elses's work. It's called. "Falling all over Again." And I thought. "OMG" they have a few of the same lines and everything. I was like. "GAH!" Cause I love this story and I didn't want to take it down and I had no idea it would turn out to be like theirs. But graciously, they allowed me to keep this story up. Becuase it IS differen than theirs in quite a few ways. A reviewer pointed out that it's if you go and pick up a romance novel and read it and then compare it with another romance novel the plot is going to be similar but it's the writer that makes the story good and just because they're alike doesn't mean they're the same and doesn't mean one idea was stolen from the other. This story was written in a different perspective. "Falling all over Again." Is more about how Logan broke her heart being an idiot and so he misses her. Mine came from a deeper emotional perspective. He's dying because he's without her. He misses her so much it makes his heart beat astronomically. He longs to touch her so badly that he see's her face in his very dreams. She is all he is in every sense of the way. She is the very fiber of his being. So I'm pshyced that I can keep this story up. I can't tell you how much I would have died if I had to take it down.**

**Please, if you will, for I don't ever ask from anything of my readers. But please read "Falling all over Again." I'd love to know you're opinions on our similarites and differences. This has never happened to me before and It's actually quite interesting. So if you would please take that job apon yourselves that'd be fantastic. But of course there are no threats of "I wont do this... If you don't do this..." blah blah blah. this is purely for fun and if you do take the challenge, it's because you want to, not just because I want you to.**

**thank you a ton everyone. And thank you reviewers. =] . you are wonderful, amazing, glorious, fantastic and fanfiction could not function without you.**

**You're humblest, and most ecstatic author;**

**Jiade-103**


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